The National Institute on the Teaching of Psychology (NITOP) is later this week.

I’ve previously written (Frantz, 2023):

I’ll confess that well before I retired my primary purpose for attending conferences was to meet with my friends and make new friends. In SPQR: A History of Ancient Rome, the author and Roman historian Mary Beard tells us that Polybius (200 BCE – 118 BCE) supposedly advised a young man, “Never come back from the Forum…until you have made at least one new friend” (Beard, 2016, p. 184)

I was reminded of this recently when I read the (freely available) Working Life essay at the end of the November 22, 2024 issue of Science (Suresh, 2024). The author tells us that while she understood the importance of networking, it terrified her. Part of her terror came from thinking she had to impress people. After having good intentions of networking at a conference, she left the conference with no new connections. In reflecting on her experience, she realized she was focusing on the wrong thing. Rather than trying to find ways to impress, she needed to find ways to connect. Not that that was easy for her, either!

I took every opportunity to attend events, and networking became a nonnegotiable part of my agenda. My palms would sweat and I’d lose my train of thought, stumbling over my words as I tried to piece together coherent sentences. I often ended up rambling, unsure I was making any sense at all. My voice would occasionally tremble and I’d become painfully self-conscious, worried I was coming across as unprepared or awkward. But I kept showing up, determined to push through, hoping eventually it would start to feel natural. And it did (Suresh, 2024).

What a great example of sympathetic nervous system arousal to share with our students. Speaking to strangers can be anxiety-producing, but it gets easier with time.

As Polybius knew, there is tremendous value in making new friends. Almost all –if not all—of the opportunities that I’ve had in my work life I can trace back to a specific person whom I had met. And I’ve had the good fortune of being able to pass along opportunities to others. There is also much joy in having a plethora of friends who text me fun photos—and who, more importantly, tolerate me doing the same.

This year, I will be NITOP, MAESTRO, APS, APA, and ACT. If you’re going to be at any of these, let’s chat. Even if you’re not sure what to say, you say, “In your blog, you said that you wanted to chat.” I’ll take it from there. I promise. I’m looking forward to meeting you!

References

Beard, M. (2016). SPQR: A history of ancient Rome. Profile Books.

Frantz, S. (2023, September 10). Retirement on the near horizon? Some thoughts. Macmillan and BFW Teaching Community. https://community.macmillanlearning.com/t5/psychology-blog/retirement-on-the-near-horizon-some-thoughts/ba-p/19300

Suresh, A. (2024). Connection, not perfection. Science, 386(6724), 934.

**The image that accompanies this post was generated by AI. I was going for an ancient Roman forum. This was AI’s fifth try. The first one included a few people in modern dress and what I am pretty sure was a pterodactyl. In retrospect, I should have used that one.